In 1933, an overwhelmed and pissed off girl named Frau despatched a letter to psychologist Carl Jung, asking “how one can reside.”
(She didn’t have any Instagram influencers to yell motivational platitudes at her, I assume)
Jung replied:
“Your questions are unanswerable, since you need to know the way one should reside. One lives as one can.
…if you happen to do with conviction the following and most crucial factor, you might be all the time doing one thing significant and meant by destiny.”
He was sharing the important thing to life.
It’s a part of restoration communities like Alcoholics Nameless.
It was even the title of a music in Disney’s Frozen 2.
“The following proper factor.”
Revisiting this story triggered me to mirror on how a lot my ideas on success and progress have modified through the years.
“Success” Redefined
I’ve been doing this Nerd Health stuff for 15+ years.
Tens of millions of individuals go to the location yearly, 50,000+ clients have purchased stuff by means of NF, and our coaches have served 15,000+ 1-on-1 shoppers.
In that point, I’ve modified my perspective fairly a bit on “success” and “residing nicely.”
I used to assume that the one path to success required militant self-discipline following a particular plan. I by no means missed a exercise, and was unbelievably happy with this.
It didn’t happen to me simply how a lot of a privileged and simple life I lived, the place I used to be 100% accountable for my time.
(Apologies to all of the dad and mom and caregivers who learn my 25-year outdated perspective!).
Now that I’m 40, and I can see the kinds of folks we truly assist with Nerd Health, I’ve modified my perspective on success and “residing nicely” pretty dramatically.
Success occurs not once we discover ways to do every thing completely, however as a substitute once we get higher at staying afloat even when issues go poorly.
In different phrases, success is studying to be inconsistently constant. Studying to be adequate for lengthy sufficient.
And meaning, when life appears chaotic, narrowing our focus right down to “the following proper factor.”
Do the Subsequent Proper Factor
A recent newsletter from writer Oliver Burkeman talked about how he’s chosen to retain a tiny little bit of sanity in an awesome world.
It led me to those sentences from writer Eckert Tolle:
“What you check with as your “life” ought to extra precisely be known as your “life scenario.” It’s psychological time: previous and future.
…Overlook about your life scenario for some time and take note of your life.
Discover the “slim gate that results in life.” It’s known as the Now.
Slim your life right down to this second. Your life scenario could also be filled with issues — most life conditions are — however discover out you probably have any downside at this second. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, however now.
Do you might have an issue now?
After we ruminate on what already occurred, and we freak out about all of the issues that might occur or must occur sooner or later…
It’s straightforward to really feel uncontrolled and overwhelmed.
Which brings us again to that cliché resolution: “the following proper factor.”
It’s a cliché solely as a result of it’s true.
We are able to zoom wayyyyyy in, and slim our focus to one thing that’s nonetheless in our management. In some conditions, sure, there’s a downside proper now. And we will simply deal with that one factor.
However in lots of different conditions, it’s usually us worrying about all the issues that may be, or the issues exterior of our management, that retains us from taking motion on the precise issues we will management.
Burkeman continues:
As for telling myself I solely wanted to do the very subsequent factor… you all the time solely can do the very subsequent factor, then the following, whether or not you prefer it or not.
It’s a little bit unusual, truly, to check with any of those strategies as “narrowing your horizons”, as in the event that they concerned by some means artificially limiting your self.
Actually, you’re simply consciously recognizing how restricted you all the time already have been.
Everyone knows how straightforward it’s for us to overcomplicate things.
And when the world seems like a dumpster hearth, it may assist to zoom approach into that subsequent determination, the tiniest aim, and simply do the following proper factor.
It’d contain a exercise or a stroll, specializing in the following meal, calling up our therapist, or finally saying no to a dedication.
If “now” is the one time that exists, then “the following proper factor” is the one factor that we will actually do.
I’m gonna go do the following proper factor for me: take a stroll.
-Steve
PS: Maria Popova has a great writeup about “the next right thing” because it pertains to her life as a author that impressed this piece.
PPS: Nerd Health is hiring just a few distant, part-time people (particularly with versatile nights and weekends) to take inbound, scheduled calls from potential shoppers about our 1-on-1 teaching. Click here to learn more.
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